Wack, Wack, Wack Christmas lol

well im kinda late but lets talking about christmas lol. not so great as planned actually completely wack & im hoping next year is ten times better. the day before i went into serious depression because alot things have been going on in my life. but im slowly learning that i have to let God hang all my worries & concerns. i only got 125 dollars, with like mad little accessories & stuff. my stepbrother didnt come home b/c he supposely went into the marines early but that was just a lie his evil mother had mad up which was so not cool. can u say bird & half lmao. so christmas was officially wack lol.



then friday i had my jobs christmas party/dinner/ secret santa. fun but wack @ the same time. ms maria of course stuffed us on this lil special ed bus & i was squished as hell plus hot. so i just blasted my headphones with rock music & called it a day. then we pulled for secret santa & i had my good ole pal silvia so we just went to victoris secret & bought mad stuff lol. then we went 2 old navy & bought some more stuff but for her secret santa & i bought a hoodie for my wesley. then we sat & ate dinner which wasnt all that good lol. we ate @ the outback which wasnt all that good i prefer red lobsters lol. so then we started presenting & then left & then i had 2 ride home on retard bus by myself lmao. cute boys walking down the street me getting off the small bus so not kool not @ all lol.



so thats how my christmas went. so boring so not kool. so wack. hopefully this week is ten times better being that i have work all day which means trips, trips, & more trips lol. i hope you go skating that would be so much fun lol. i will keep you updated my loves!!!!♥

Where Are You Christmas???

Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go

as you can see, im not in the christmas spirit. im sick my throat hurt i cant breathe. i have no money cuz i cant cash my check. the people i thought cared about me dont. they said they do but apparently not showing it. i couldnt wait 4 my brother to come home but now he is not. his mother made them ship him off to california for the marines. we always spend christmass together & now i have nobody. all i want to do is cry and stay in my room. cant even do that cuz people telling me to come out my room & send sometime with them. i understand that but i just wanna be alone right now.

today was just a horrible day. tryin to figure out why do i even be bothered with people anymore. after im soaking wet, had 2 buy new boots they said o i didnt think why you didnt come over you could have came by my house. its over & done with im wet & sick thanks to you. so you can go kick rocks forget rocks try boulders. my mom thought that as funny. i love her & her grandma. they get on my nerves but i cant live without them.

My Grown-up Christmas List

Do you remember me

I sat upon your knee

I wrote to you

With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now

And still need help somehow

I'm not a child

But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish

My grown up christmas list

Not for myself

But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown up christmas list

This is just an idea of my Christmas list but some know that most of these things if not all will never come true. The only thing we can do is wish, hope, dream, & pray that maybe one day we can reach this perfect place but the sad thing is that nothing is perfect except God. So all we can do is wait for that day He comes so we can have everything on this grown-up Christmas list.

But i do have a list of things i would like that i know that im not gonna get lol:

1) T-mobile cellphone: Gravity(the aqua one)

2)some money

3)some new shoes & clothes

4)to see my brother & sister in georgia

5)to see my father

i think thats it for now!!!! luv ya!!!♥