Bitter and tired of caring!!!

hey my loves!!! sorry but i need to vent really bad.

So i thought my week was finally getting better but i guess not lmao. people are seriously getting on my nerves. everyone has pretty much turn their backs on me. my best friends could careless cuz we all were wrong in our argument but of course nobody ever wants to be wrong. yes i should have hit them up but yes they could have also hit me up. but hey they shouldnt have to "chase after me" lmao. i was only sick with a horrible cold but hey im still wrong lol. they always forget me. like im looking over our pics on fb & they have so many pics together but im barely in any but hey they are not leaving me out lol. i was always a third wheel & they agreed so quickly when i said i didnt wanna be bothered anymore lol i just find all this funny. next involves my ex lol this one is funny. he got mad cuz me & his cousin have regular day to day conversation but hey i cant have friends. im meant to lie my life alone with no outsie communication to anyone else. then i definitely told this dude how i felt but hey my feelings & emotions for him are trash lol. thats how im feeling right now like my thought for him is trash. my heart is trash. i cant even think of thing worth smiling for right now. i have so much hate in my heart for life. since saturday i have been praying to God to take this hate away cuz i dont like hating people. but if people wanna turn their backs on me then im definitely doing the same. im too tired to care & im throwing my heart away. im becoming heartless cuz its not like people care anyway. im about to delete my facebook, twitter, & change my number on my phone cuz thats just how freaking horrible i feel about everything. i swear i feel like just calling people up & cursing them out thats how mad & how much hate i have for people right now. i cant stop crying & i just want everything to end. im tired of crying over people that dont love me!!!! im tired of caring!!!! im just tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!